One thing that always finds its way to me when I come to California for these little week long stays, is the sense that one can recreate oneself. Maybe not one's essential essence, whatever that is, rather one can decide to take a slightly different track, adjust course a touch and go off in a new direction with subtlety. I don't know if I can put it down to the North County spooky surfy yoga vibe or whether it's just the simple moment of perspective you get from exiting the normal rigamarole, but it happens. The mind can play awful tricks though. As soon as I start to believe I can shift back to a more sublime state, I am internally chided by that little dwarf inside, pointing out that I'll be nothing more than a phony and a fake and everyone who knows me will see through the thin gauze lickety split. Yeah, well, that might be true. All I know is that when something feels right, really right, really comfortable and right and the way it prolly ought to be, that's the moment you really need to squint your eyes and give it the once over. The best thing may be to go the other way. Either way, don't ever let anyone call you a phony and be calling it like it is, for too long anyhow.
3 comments:
after leaving your grandma's place on sunday morning - there was traffic on the 5 - so i took the coast route, then for no reason, i stopped in at the Swami's garden of eternal enlightenment and meditation, which i had never done before - and i thought, today is the day.
and when i got there, i found a tour group already there, filling up the cramped little pathways, i had to get in line behind them.
the guide was pointing out the benches and the coy pond - and saying how each spot is very pretty and would be a great place to reflect.
The creator said in the ancient book of Isaiah "I will giude your paths, I will whisper in your ear, turn left here, turn right there... because I love you and care for you". Welcome to California... I've lived in SC my whole life and have made the adjustments you speak of countless times. Each adjustment worth it, each one directed from "the one who whispers" God Bless you, your stay and your blog!
Well then hallelujah.
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