Things Said and Done

There are so many things I'm not interested in. Even the things I seem to be interested in, or should be interested in, are often pretty far off my daily or even monthly radar.  The sort of disinterest that inspires aficionados, people who really care about some thing I'm involved in, to point in my direction where I shift uncomfortably in my seat at the table and say, "there's a fake." Everyone looks up, looks in my direction.  Some people shrug their shoulders, others shake their heads, someone pounds a fist, another hisses, while a third snorts in amusement.  But I'm not interested.  I'm not so interested in that either, but I can't say it doesn't play in my mind.  I think, "why can't I be more official?" And, "why aren't I more disciplined?" But I'm not. I'm not disciplined. I just want to have a good time.