Happening May 3 & 4 : It Doesn't Not Work

Your surfboard is a magical portal crafted by a hydro-wizard in a velvety castle nestled between two Da Hui style trolls ready to put you in a sleeper hold should you venture too close.

Your surfboard functions like a mystical sparkle stick, conjuring up water displacement and foiling spells that suddenly appear out of a rainbow tended by a saber-toothed leprechaun who will bite your hand off should you reach out to pet the colors.

Surfboard shaping is governed by a secret society of Masonic Dolphins who whisper screeching coded messages into the ears of sea nymphs betrothed to a few lucky Tuvan throat singers who pry from them the hidden recipes in bed, then backward mask them in mix tapes they send to a crafty cabal known as "The Chosen."

Each and every one of these statements is true.

But if you just give up now, you'll never save Princess Leia and deliver the One True Ring into Optimus Prime's hands to defeat Galactus. Don't give up, you're our only hope. And stop calling me Shirley.

This weekend, just hours after the Zak Bush photo extravaganza of wonders opening party, SMASH, Imaginary Surf Co. and (the EBNY HQ) PF Gallery are holding a one point five day forum symposium design exhibition conversation full of laughter, tears and camaraderie designed for backyard shapers, master builders and the rest of us who'd simply like to get a little filled in on the process.

Here's how I described it to someone the other day :
"We had an idea that there are all these backyard shapers and pro shapers and people who'd like to learn about shaping, and there are all these failures that lead to successes and all these nuances and different approaches to looking at board building. There's a real chance for conversation and cross pollination and that sort of bunk, but even more a chance to hang around talking about boards or simply looking at other people's work. Some guys have made a bunch of boards, some guys have only made one but want to talk about it. Some of us have never even touched a planer. It might be a really great resource for you, or it might just be good to talk to other good people."

Here's how Ty Breuer summed it up today:
"A surfcraft design show featuring surreal to sublime shapes by East Coast subterranean board builders.  Function is purely subjective when fun is the ultimate goal. Display your failed concepts and accidental discoveries. “It Doesn’t NOT Work” seeks to lift up the hood on surfboard experimentation and design. Boards that are proven to work!! Boards that are proven to NOT work!! “It Doesn’t NOT Work” will include a boardswap, film screening, prizes and beer!"

So show up. If it's nice, we'll try to barbecue somehow.  And if you've got a board you've shaped and want to compare and contrast, bring it. And if you've got a board you'd like to swap or sell to someone, bring that too.

And stay tuned to meet the official shapers involved at SMASH .